i am so freaking exhausted. i have nothing good to say right now. maybe tomorrow they will be finished with the floors. i hope they clean up after themselves tomorrow because I've spent hours cleaning tonight. i am at the end of whatever rope i have. maybe on just one strand of it. maybe just on one fiber of one strand. i've yelled at everybody tonight. i only wish i'd had something to hit, because i just feel murderous. my inner rage that i keep leashed so well is boiling over - i'm sure because i'm so tired and anxious - why doesn't make me feel any less furious.
there's flies in the house because the doors have been kept open so much. i hate flies. no, i don't even have a fly swatter.
i am very close to running away. far, far away. i'm tired of being responsible and hardworking and doing what i'm supposed to do and keeping my rage and fury to myself. perhaps i need a job testing boxing gloves... i'm tired of crying two tears and making myself stop, because the dam is breaking.
i am tired of saying that tomorrow will be better.
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