How I escaped 2009

2009 Movies (62 of them)

• 28 Days Later AND 28 Weeks Later ... Zombies, they just keep coming back ... C
• 7 Pounds ... Will Smith, guilt, sacrifice ... A
• Adventureland ... not another teen virgin trying to get laid? C
• Aliens in the Attic ... Elisha thought this was pretty funny ... B
• Aliens vs Monsters ... eh ... C
• Angels & Demons ... not bad (but not DaVinci Code, either) ... B
  
• Bedtime Stories ... kids movie that did NOT make me laugh ... D
• Body of Lies ... diCaprio spy semi-thriller ... C+
• Choke ... with Sam Rockwell ... A+ Loved it!
• Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs ... Good story with LOTSA food ... B
• Coraline ... too dark for kids, from Neil Gaiman ... B+
• Crank ... silly with Statham ... C
• Dan in Real Life .. predictable ...C
• DaVinci Code ... so Chuck will be ready for 'Angels & Demons' ... A
• Deception ... Hugh Jackman & Ewan McGregor so it can't be ALL bad ... C
• Eagle Eye with Shia Lebouf ... A
• Fight Club ... a true classic ... A
• Ghost Town with Ricky Gervais ... A
• Greenfingers ... Sweet & funny ... B
• Hot Fuzz ... Simon Pegg does Dirty Harry in the UK ... hilarious! B+
• Hotel for Dogs ... with Elisha ... C
• I've Loved You So Long ... Loved it in French with subtitles ... B+
• In the Electric Mist ... based on book series by James Lee Burke "Dave Robicheaux" ... B
• Inkheart with Brendan Fraser ... Dinner & a movie with Elisha ... B+
• Julia & Julie ... chick flick - redeeming feature is Meryl Streep as Julia Child ... B+
• Land of the Lost ... Stupid ... D-
• Little Miss Sunshine ... because Chuck hadn't seen the classic!! A+
• Mad Money ... silly fun ... B
• Miller's Crossing ... Coen brothers ... B
• Moon ... loved Sam Rockwell & Sam Rockwell in space ... A ** BEST OF THE YEAR **
  
• Neverwhere ... actually a BBC 5-part show by Neil Gaiman ... A+
• Night at the Museum 2 ... a funny kids movie that made me laugh too ... B+
• Paranoid Park ... Thought-provoking... B
• Pride & Glory with Edward Norton as NY cop... B-
• Primer ... 2 guys accidentally invent a time machine - you really have to follow this one closely! ... B
• Rachel Getting Married ... B
• Right Outside Your Door ... Dirty bomb in LA (felt like a tv movie) ... C
• Run, Fat Boy, Run with Simon Pegg ... Hilarious (romantic) British comedy with a couple scenes that made me laugh OUT LOUD! ... B+
• Shorts ... kids fun with Elisha ... B
• STAR TREK ... LOVED IT!!! A++
• Sunshine ... SciFi ... C+
• Surrogates ... Bruce Willis & scifi ... A
• Taken with Liam Neeson ... C
  
• Taking of Pelham 1-2-3 ... the original with Walter Matthau ... B+
• Ten Things I Hate about You ... fluffy ... B-
• Terminator Salvation ... It's nowhere near the first one, but I still enjoyed it ... B
• The Bank Job ... true bank heist story ... B
• The Big Nothing ... exactly. D
• The Contract ... John Cusack & Morgan Freeman ... predictable yuck ... D-
• The Informant! ... Soderbergh & Matt Damon - I'm still trying to figure it out... B+
• The International with Clive Owen ... B+
• The Mist ... a Stephen King story with a NON-SK ending ... C
• The Sorcerer ... excellent thriller from 1977 ... A+
• The Wire from HBO ... I watched the entire series from Season One all the way through... love it! Thanks Sherry!
• Traitor with Don Cheadle ... C+
• Transsiberian ... too slow & dull ... D-
• Tropic Thunder ... F (Total waste!)
• Up ... Pixar does it again ... A
• Wanted ... Angelina Jolie & assassins! A rollercoaster ride! A+
• Watchmen ... Exceeded Expectations! A
• White Out ... a TV murder mystery set at the South Pole... C
• Wolverine (the new XMen) ... at the drivein... Hugh Jackman ... B+
• Yes Man ... pretty funny Jim Carrey ... B

2009 Books (37 of them)

• "American Gods" by Neil Gaiman - I loved this story of what happened to all the gods immigrants brought with them to America A++
• "Anansi Boys" by Neil Gaiman - I LOVE the way Gaiman tells stories ... A
• "Bare Bones" by Kathy Reichs - I somehow missed this one in sequence (ohno!) ... B
• "Death List" by ? Thornton? - reinforced my ability to skip entire sections and still know who-dun-it ... D+
• "Devil Bones" by Kathy Reichs ... Gotta love Tempe ... B
• "Everything's Eventual" ... 14 short stories by the Master, Stephen King ... A+
• "Frankenstein series" #1, #2, #3 by Dean Koontz - I went back and re-read the first two books to better enjoy the grand finale of the trilogy ... B
• "Girl who Played with Fire" by Steig Larrson - another in his excellent series - an absolute page turner ... A
• "Girl with a Dragon Tattoo" by Steig Larsson - wonderful Swedish mystery interweaving multiple plotlines for multiple climaxes ;} ... B+
• "Glass Castle" by Jeannette Walls ... memoir of the opposite to my family ... REQUIRED reading! A+
• "Good Omens" another by Neil Gaiman - Hilarious look at Armaggedon in a Monty Python kind of way ... A
• "Guernsey Literary & Potato Peel Pie Society" by Barrows & Shaffer ... a one day read (and it was a work day) - horrors of ww2 with sweetness of life ... B+
• "Heart Shaped Box" by Joe Hill ... Stephen King's son wrote this excellent thriller ... B
• "King of Lies" by John Hart ... typical legal thriller a la Grisham or Greg Iles... fairly predictable ... C+
• "Lace Reader" by Brunonia Barry - Schizophrenia, suicide and not much story... C
• "Lion Among Men" by Gregory Maguire - Third in his "Oz" series, this time about 'guess who'? ... B
• "Lush Life" by Richard Price - a novel like "The Wire" was a TVshow A
• "Mistress of the Art of Death" by Ariana Franklin - Forensic dr in 1150's England B-
• "Mysteries of Pittsburgh" by Michael Chabon - his 'coming of age' story ... B
• "Neverwhere" by Neil Gaiman - Exquisitely delightful look at what's under London's Underground ... A
• "Odd Hours" by Dean Koontz ... Odd Thomas the 4th ... B
• "Predator" by Patricia Cornwell - I think I read this just after we lost Anna - I remember snippets, but was surprised by the ending ... B+
• "Scarpetta Factor" by Patricia Cornwell - surprised me with how much it kept me on the edge of my seat ... B+
• "Scattershot" by David Lovelace - his memoir of growing up with four of five family members being bi-polar B+
• "Still Alice" by Lisa Genova ... Wonderful. Excellent! A+
• "The Hour I First Believed" by Wally Lamb ... Heavy reading, physically and for the spirit . An epic story . Definitely NOT Lamb's finest ... C
• "The Shack" by William Young ... NOT my usual choice of reading material, but Jessica insisted ... D-
• "Under the Dome" by Stephen King ... A heavyweight epic that mixes "High Noon" with "Lord of the Flies" with "1984" ... loved it! ... A
  
• "Water for Elephants" by Sara Gruen ... Thank you Jessica for my delightful xmas present! ... A
• "Yiddish Policemen's Union" by Michael Chabon - Another new favorite author - this is a wonderfully engaging book! A+
• Stephanie Plum Series - 10, 11, 12, 13, 14 - Hilarious, fun reads ... B+

2009 xmas day

Sorry for poor photography. It was early. And christmas. My bad. Elisha's DSi.

JB says Elisha's like Hugh Hefner - in his robe and pjs. teehee... This was E making sure he would get to see his Nana & Papa on christmas. He proceeded to run the show and throw the party. Charades, Pictionary, I Spy... The boy knows how to PLAY!

2009 elephant & xmas eve

Elisha's first professional theater performance, as an elephant in "Jungle Book Kids" production, December 21, 2009. The cutest elephant EVER! That's him, third from left, looking to his right for some reason...

Here - Christmas Eve - as Elf #1 in charge of package distribution!

Are these two not the cutest on earth!!! Check out Jes' heels! I hated them at first, but I kinda like them now. As long as I don't have to wear them!

Elisha's display of loot!

christmas cheer!

I will have to say this is definitely the best christmas I've had since we lost Miss Anna. I have laughed ... I have spent good, quality, FUN time with my most precious Jes - and with Elisha - and with my sister - and with the always lively Shelton crew - and with my sweetheart. I heard - and listened to with all my heart - Elisha tell me he loves me and know that he means it (makes what's left of my heart warm right up!). I was given the BESTEST xmas present by Jes & her JB (I GOT THE WII & WII FIT!!!) ... I have gift cards to shop with, and I got an overly generous gift from my parents... My sweetie actually looked at the list I gave him, and he did great! Since I've been out of work, I've gotten lots of well wishing cards and emails and facebook messages.

THANK YOU. Thank you all.

I've tried to explain how I've felt by describing a little rowboat tied up at a dock on a lake. (I'm the rowboat in this story.) It's not the greatest or biggest or newest rowboat, but it is reliable, and dependable, and it does what it's supposed to do. In my sadness and depression, I have perceived the rowboat coming untied at the dock and drifting out into the lake - out where it can easily be capsized by waves, out where no one knows it or cares for it.

Well, tonight I feel cared for. It's not just the presents (although they're really really GREAT!). I feel cared for - I even feel as if I have my very own boathouse to keep me safe and comfortable. Thank you, Jessica and Elisha and JB. Thank you Mom & Dad. Thank you Chuck (especially for being such a good caretaker in my convalescence). Thank you Sis. Thank you Sheltons for including me - for making me laugh - for knowing my pain and sharing yours - and STILL making me laugh.

I love you all. Merry christmas.

Almost christmas...

I do so love not having to go to work. This is the longest I've gone without an alarm clock since I was about 15 years old on summer vacation. After that, there has been a job, or a baby to care for keeping me from my beloved dreams.

Left to my own devices, I tend to go to sleep around eleven or twelve, then to sleep til eight or nine in the morning. I have been waking up all snuggly warm under the blankets while it's really cold in the house (no need to be paying for heat if nobody's awake to use it!). I lie there and think about how I'll spend my day - what has to be done - which projects are on the top of my list. I absolutely LOVE doing this. After I wake up, some days I stay snuggled for ten minutes, some days I stay for an hour - thinking. Just thinking. It is the best thing about being out of work. The ability to think my thoughts as long as I like.

Today my thoughts concerned christmas 'to-do' - including a walmart run for a short list of last minute recipe ingredients (and Diet Dr Peppers, in case of snow!). So after getting up, I headed to walmart with list in hand. Thankfully, it wasn't busy but after wrangling a buggy, and trudging all the way to the back of the store (where they keep my drug-of-choice), I was exhausted! Completely pooped! I got the sodas and a few dairy items, then I had to sit down on one of those old-men benches at the end of the grocery aisles. I was conscious of looking like the really old folks who make it look like WWII battlefields getting through the store. That's kinda how I felt. I told myself to just keep going - you'll make it! The very idea! It was JUST Walmart, for heavens sake! Checkout was speedy (hooray) and I made it back to my car. And sat. And rested. Apparently, I'm not as recovered as I thought I was. ... I have stopped taking the pain meds, since I'm usually okay. Nighttime is the only difficult time - trying to get my stitches and bandaids situated comfortably. ... Apparently, I need to get out and get used to moving around more. ... Apparently, I'm not twenty anymore.

I've been doing a lot of reading and crocheting and DVD-watching --- none of which are known for their cardiovascular highlights.

But show me someone who has made such a pretty scarf while power-walking? or exercising?

Next week, I will get back to taking walks. Maybe.

Snow 2009

This was from last night when it was snowing so hard and fast. Of course, Chuck is loving the cold and the snow and couldn't wait to get out in it today - has shoveled my driveway and my front walk -- which is a good thing, so the mailman can bring me my next DVD of "Fringe - Season One" that I'm watching (I love Netflix).

The ruler says 6 inches. I figured it was our most reliable measuring device.
The wind was blowing like crazy last night. Here's my car - under the carport - covered by the blowing snow. What fun!

Recuperation projects

Surgery went well. Now I'm concerned I won't have enough time to do all the stuff I wanna do before I have to go back to work Jan. 4th 2010. Seriously! I've started Stephen King's Under the Dome - it's Massive! And there are so many crochet projects to make while watching/listening to movies - both on netflix cd and on instant netflix! Plus I have to play solitaire on the computer and take naps! and taking a shower is an event for me right now - careful!! And there is xmas shopping to finish (love Amazon.com). and more naps! And doing the "old man shuffle" to get around. I lost my voice for a day from the tube down my throat during surgery. Sure was quiet around here! And did I say read and naps and games magazine puzzles?

The season has begun... the bad & the ugly

The dreaded season between Thanksgiving and NewYears has begun.

I find myself waking up around 4 in the morning and lying awake - thinking and thinking and thinking... things like: how am I going to afford christmas? how am I going to afford my real estate taxes? what on earth can I get my mom & dad? wonder how my surgery is going to go? how much will they make me pay up front for the surgery at Duke? what should I get Jessica? how am I going to afford christmas? and on and on... then I'll move on to my list of life failures: the multitude of ways I failed Anna - how I failed Jessica - what a rotten mom and grammy I am ... how selfish I am...

I don't "wish I'd done that differently" about stuff. It's done. I did what I did. Most of which was wrong - but I did it and there's no changing anything. I didn't realize I wouldn't have the time to "make things better" for Anna. I was just making it day to day. I didn't know my days with her would run out too soon.

4am turns into 6am. I still lie there with my thoughts flying around like 2yearolds running remote controlled airplanes. Zoom! Why did I do that? Zoom! What a mess I made of everything. Crash!

Ida believe the river's up...

Leftovers from three days STRAIGHT of rain from Ida... This one is from today - the sky is some funny color? Blue???

These are from down on the bike path by the river. The path is closed (obviously) as it's under a coupla feet of water.

miscellaneous

dreams - I've been remembering a lot of my dreams lately. I haven't been sleeping all that well, waking up a lot which is why, I suppose. Today was my Duke appt - but I woke up at 3a.m. two days ago in a panic "I forgot to go to DUKE!!!!!" and it was probably a full minute before I got awake enough to tell myself to calm down. Also - my last trip to Duke was 22 years ago - I had to have an amniocentesis when I was pregnant with Anna. I guess my subconscious has been pulling that back up, because I've dreamed I was back in those days several times. Once I was back in the house we were living in back then, with that husband. In another one, I was in the car with that husband back then and we were driving. In neither dream did the man talk - at all. Which was normal (he's not a conversationalist) at the same time being a good thing - when he does talk to me, it drives me mad. And there's a snippet of a dream with Anna and Jessica running around the backyard like they did when they were little - it was a sunny day - that was a very warm dream-ette.

nanowrimo - November, the month of writing a novel, is upon us. I spent the month of October trying to come up with an idea. Characters. a plot. I thought about books I enjoy reading - a wide spectrum including fantasy, sci fi, stephen king's horror, neil gaiman, michael chabon. My favorites are extremely well-plotted, normal-guy-in-extraordinary-circumstances stories. I don't have a story. I don't have any extraordinary circumstances that I want to throw characters into. I like to read. No - more than that - I LOVE TO READ. I surrender my idea of being the next Stephanie King. I can devote my energies to the books I love without wishing I could come up with some idea. It's kinda like the way I can watch the cooking shows without thinking I should be Top Chef. I feel relieved.

travel thoughts - I've spent many hours on the road lately. We took a pre-Duke trip last Saturday to find out where we were going. Then we went down for the real thing today. At this stage in my life, I'm comfortable with silence. There was a time when I thought every minute had to be filled with talk, how are you FEELING?, what are youTHINKING? Now, I am perfectly happy with long periods of just road noises. I like being able to filter through all the random crap that flows through my brain. This bf likes to drive, so I get ride for a change - which is great. I have voyeuristic tendencies, because I love looking in lighted windows, seeing what's going on in other people's lives - wondering who they are, how they live. I have to go back to Duke for pre-admit stuff on Dec 3rd, and I'm looking forward to the ride.

thanksgiving - what's the plan? tacos, anyone?

Happy Howl-o-ween

E is John Lennon (not Harry Potter like crazy old Grammy guessed!)

My absolute favorite trick-or-treaters!

Those Richardson/Bradshaw kids sure are handsome/lovely.

See - hint hint, the peace sign...

Okay - HINT HINT - See Jessica's shirt!!

Thanks for coming to visit me!

As promised... books on shelves

Finally, I put my boxes of books up on my "made for me" bookshelves on either side of the "new to me" TV from my folks. Ya-hooo!
I've been watching football downstairs on that TV since I can actually see the ball. I find my attention drifting to how super the shelves look, and how great my room has finally come together. The flood was July 9th, and today, I'm done.

Me vs. the medical community...

My frustration with the medical system is at an all time high. I feel like a ping-pong ball sent back and forth between doctors, with increasingly dire diagnoses, and patient care coming to a basic halt. I’m so very frustrated at what’s happening and NOT happening to me.

The chronology –
April 9th Annual OB appt – Dr Lahti sent me to Dr Mahmoud due to increased hormone levels (no big deal)
June 23rd Appt with Dr Mahmoud was cancelled – no one contacted me to reschedule – I found out the appt was cancelled when I called to confirm the appt.
Sept 15th Rescheduled with Dr Mahmoud who sent me for blood work
Sept 30th Dr Mahmoud’s concerns with blood work results, ordered CT Scan & sonogram; Sent me back to Dr Lahti – now concerned with “mass” on left ovary
Oct 28th Dr Lahti’s concerns to send me to Duke
Nov 11th Consultation appt at Duke OB/Oncology dept

After speaking to the Duke OB/Oncologist office, surgeries are backed up with liklihood of any possible surgery AFTER Christmas. I realize nothing can or will be done about this. I’m just terribly frustrated. If I could remove the ovary, I would. If there were a WalMart surgery, I’d have it. Just take it out NOW – why make me wait two or three months – to give whatever it is plenty of time to spread? How am I supposed to feel about this? Furious and frustrated - which are my emotions of choice. I need to take a deep breath and get over it.

Mabry Mill

Unlike me, my bf thinks we should actually DO something on the weekend. To me, "doing nothing" is perfectly acceptable pasttime for Sundays. There are football games to watch, naps to take, popcorn to munch while watching football games in between naps...

This past Sunday, he talked me into going up to Mabry Mill on the Blue Ridge Parkway. Sounded like a good plan - he was going to drive, so I could still nap if necessary. Since Sunday was the NASCAR race in Martinsville (which was on our way), we played "How many state troopers can you count?" - much like "I Spy" only easier, because they were everywhere. In less than an hour, we had passed five of the sneaks lying in wait for unsuspecting speeders.

To get to the Mill, we had to go up Lover's Leap. For those of you who haven't had the immense pleasure of driving up a mountain, back and forth on severely sharp curvy steep roads, let me say that it made me sick. Thank goodness, I never got all the way seasick, I got a constant yucky headache that made it more 'enduro-driving' than fun. The Blue Ridge Parkway is well known for the beautiful foliage displays. I think we missed them by about two weeks. Ohwell. A leaf is a leaf. Here's the Mill. {I confess, with my head hurting as it was, I felt like, BIG DEAL!}

The bf was great about stopping at roadside stands. We never did buy any of the pumpkins, apples, gourds or gi-normous cabbages. And forgot all about finding the yarn shop I was supposed to be looking for! I am glad we went and enjoyed a lovely, clear, crisp fall day. Especially after the half Dramamine I took - I slept about four hours straight. Now THAT's a good nap!

Elisha turns SIX !!! All PHOTOS

Elisha celebrated his SIXTH birthday in grand fashion at Chuck E Cheese. I think we had Jessica's fourth or fifth birthday party at the very same Chuck E Cheese. Was that just yesterday my girls were so little? ... At any rate - we all had a great time!

E with his PaPa,

Hattie, Adam and Zane at SkeeBall... Hattie LOVED the ChuckECheese car ride!

Mikayla's face did NOT stick like this, thank goodness!

Purple Cast Power ON, Jes!

His most favorite gift - an iPod preloaded with BEATLES music!

Happy Happy Happy Birthday!