We Wuz Robbed!

October 25, 2011. The day that strangers went through my house looking for stuff they could steal to sell. Ick. They went through my clothes drawers, pulled mattresses off the box springs, and I'm sure they got pissed off I had very little worth stealing. The Wii and WiiFit where I started exercising before I was brave enough to walk outside. The PlayStation given to me by Ramona after we lost Anna so I could take my mind off my problems. Two sets of wedding rings & engagement rings from other husbands. My digital camera and iPod Touch - which I haven't used much since I got my snazzy iPhone. Chuck's bicycle (but not mine). His air compressor. My nifty OTT crafting light that he just got me for my birthday (not even a month ago!).

When I got home from work, the two screen doors on the porch were wide open, and the house door was open too. I went in - noticed the door jamb hanging by a sliver. I figured Chuck had gotten off work early, was in the middle of some fix-up project (as he always is). I called him, and after several tries he finally convinced me it wasn't a prank - then I noticed our change basket was missing from the coffee table. I called 911. The most amazing thing is how well anti-anxiety meds work when you take them. I remained calm while talking to the police officer, as I kept discovering things that were missing. Relieved my TV and computer were still okay. Glad I'd had my precious iPhone with me at work.

After the police were gone, I decided I had to have Mexican food, so off to San Marcos we went. I managed to avoid the Points of a margarita, but overdid it on nacho chips. All in all, I'm still calm. We now think a neighbor may have seen the 3 guys who did the stealing in a gray Camry. I'm pretty sure I'll never see my things again. But I still have my pictures, my books, my yarn. I'm okay. I just KNEW things were going too well for me lately!

Date Set - Countdown begins!

With all the wedding bells in the air when Jes and James married, Chuck & I decided to tie the knot in November. This November. First things first - we got hotel reservations for Thanksgiving weekend to honeymoon! We went back and forth, over and over trying to get someone to make the ceremony legal - which is all I care about. Quick. Legal. Over - let's celebrate! We started with the date 11-11-11 - pretty neat date, but couldn't get an officiant. I didn't want a church wedding (seems silly to me to have my third wedding in a church) - and ministers want you to do the pre-marital counseling - which I'm sure is a valid and good thing to do - but not for me. I don't get along with church anyway. We switched the date to 11-22-11, and I arranged for one of the Court Magistrates to come to our house and marry us at 5:30 that day. Witnesses will be few, close family. Quick. Legal.

Wednesday we visited James and bought two nice wedding bands. Today, we're going to the Clerk's Office to get the official marriage license. We don't have to take an eye exam or pass a written test - just show ID and pay the fee.

Am I nervous? Sure. Am I sure? Mostly. I find myself unable to trust or believe in anything or anyone as completely and fully as I was capable of in my youth. Too many broken dreams and promises, too many heartaches and heartbreaks, too many tears. I do remember the day I married my first husband. It was a golden August day. I remember looking up at him, with the sun shining all around him in a golden halo and knowing for sure and certain that it was the right thing. And it was. The right thing for me that day at that time of my life when all I wanted to do was be a grown up - free and on our own and in love. What it really meant was getting a job and working fifty weeks a year - then we grew up and grew different, and I'd prefer never speak to him again. We did have two gorgeous, wonderful daughters who remain the best thing I've ever done. They gave me the brightest hours - the darkest hours.

So here I go again. Trying to trust. Trying to believe. I know if I fall, he will catch me.