If it weren't for bad luck...

"Gloom, despair and agony on me-e!
Deep dark depression, excessive misery-y!
If it weren't for bad luck I'd have no luck at all!
Gloom, despair and agony on me-e-e!"

Those of you old enough to remember “HeeHaw” (the climax of 1960’s Saturday night TV that started with “Lawrence Welk” and “The Porter Wagner Show”) will remember the folks in bib-overalls sitting around sharing their stories of bad luck and no luck. They were funny stories because they were happening to somebody else. They were silly stories like the blonde being trapped in a sinking convertible sinking because she couldn’t get the windows down. Ah, comedy.

However, I’d have to say that my past ten days or so would’ve qualified me for a spot on the show. Of course, I’d start with the burst water hose last Thursday. That disaster caused me to lose hot water for nearly a week. I’ve had the disappointment of not being able to choose to put a wood laminate floor throughout the downstairs. When I thought the floors were drying out as needed (thanks to constantly working dehumidifiers and fans), I was told my existing linoleum kitchen floor will have to come up as well, because it is not drying out as it will have to before the floor is re-covered.

My main source of relaxation has been my increasing obsession with “FarmTown” – a silly little farm simulation game on Facebook. And yes, I’ve been wasting far too much time playing (and letting my stress slip away). Then I turned up on Tuesday with the “Koobface” virus on my computer and spent several frustrating hours trying to fix that. I WANT MY FARMTOWN!! I have to check my crops – my rooster – my pig & sheep!!

Then came my Thursday night out with the most handsome fellow in the world. I picked up Elisha from daycare, and he went with me to my haircut appointment. He thought the beauty shop really smelled bad (it smelled like perms), but he enjoyed watching me getting my eyebrows RIPPED out. From there, he chose our restaurant – McDonalds. After loading up on carbs and fat grams and grease, we headed out to my car. I pulled out of the parking spot and pulled back INTO the parking spot – realizing I had a flat tire. Hmphf. I called my bf repeatedly with no answer. Hmphf. Who could I call to help me? Here’s where being a “helpless female” causes problems. I knew I couldn’t change the tire. It’s been about twenty years since I tried unsuccessfully to change a tire (PapaDoc, Ramona’s daddy, saved me then). Hmphf. In the heat. At least two hundred degrees with Elisha jumping around – “can I see the flat tire?” “why is it flat?” “I’m thirsty!” So I called Jessica’s bf, James. He came to my rescue. I’m not really good at the damsel in distress thing, but he sure is great as the knight in shining armor. He fixed me up (dry-rotted valve stem on the tire!!!) and sent us on our way.

Additionally, the company I work for is possibly/probably (?) declaring bankruptcy today (Friday). Not being one of the executives who makes millions, I am concerned for my future employment and financial situation!

Sigh. So now I have now yielded to more experienced minds explaining that laminate just cannot hold up to the moisture in a bathroom. Okay – I can go with that. My contractor will put a ceramic tile in the bathroom, but I’m going with laminate throughout the rest. Apparently something I did made the computer virus go away, because last night I was able to get back to my serious online farming, thank goodness!

Blanche DuBois may have “depended on the kindness of strangers,” but I have relied heavily on my bf and Jessica’s bf this week. I am greatly in their debt. Here’s hoping I’m moving out from under the black cloud of bad luck, so they can get back to whatever knights in shining armor do when they’re not rescuing damsels in distress. Fire-breathing dragons had better watch out!

Splish ... part 3

Today's Monday - the flood was Thursday (just call me Noah). In the best news yet, the brick is gone, leaving a nice empty spot adding many square feet of floor to my room. Yippee.

splish splish, part 2

The day after the water. LUCKY FOR ME I had already planned today as a vacation day to go to a waterpark with the bf for his birthday (yesterday). We decided to postpone the trip til probably Sunday. Honestly, I've had enough waterslides for a day or so.



Yesterday I did exceedingly well. I maintained a positive, cheerful outlook, almost excited about getting rid of that carpet I've been hating for so long. Yesterday was my bf (boyfriend)'s birthday, so we went out to dinner. On the way, I was telling him, "Boy, back in the old days, this emergency would've had me crying and sobbing and miserable. I bet Ramona can just imagine me falling apart over the crisis! But I'm fine - no problem at all!"



True, until I went to take a shower last night. Yesterday was a humid day, and I worked. Not like I usually do, in a lumbar-supported computer chair. I moved boxes of stuff to higher ground. I scooped water up in whatever I could find. I soaked and wrung out towel after tower after towel. I sweated. I splashed in water for hours. Last night, I was tired and the adrenaline rush of diving (no pun intended) into a crisis had long gone. I got ready to step into my shower, and the water never got hot. I realized the water had put out the pilot light in the hot water heater. I went to bed stinky and sticky and in a very foul mood with only a cold sponging off. This morning I tried and tried to get the burner to light, but it wouldn't. After using up my vocabulary of bad words (in new and innovative combinations!), I called the guys helping with the water damage and asked for help. The burner is shot (which I just had replaced in February or March of this year). And naturally, there are none in town - it has to be ordered. Hopefully it will be here by Tuesday. LUCKY FOR ME I can go to the bf's house for a shower.

We had a scare when I went to wash a load of stinking, soaking towels I used yesterday. It had appeared the washer was ruined, but LUCKY FOR ME the bf got that going again. Also, when they were working in the laundry room yesterday, they knocked down a bunch of clean clothes I had hanging up, so they got stinky and soaked too. Now I can wash them. In cold water, but they will be clean. Fingers crossed the dryer still works.

I have reached my limit of crises, however. Today I have cried and cussed and screamed. Naturally, none of those things helped a bit, but at least I felt like I was DOING something. Gone is 'Miss-Happy-I'm-Getting-New-Carpet." She's been replaced with 'Miss-I-will-cry-on-you-if-you-tell-me-one-more-thing-isn't-working' or her evil twin 'Miss-Get-the-Fuck-Outta-My-Face-Right-NOW!'


On another less smelly note, since I will be getting new flooring downstairs (and I haven't decided on what yet), the bf is taking up the brick that was laid under the woodstove that I got rid of a dozen years ago. So when the new floor is put down, that yucky brick won't be there. You can see it in the photo below - it's what the bicycles are sitting on. I've been wanting to get rid of that since the woodstove left.

Jessica has been stressing over how to replace some floors in her new house. She has offered free advice summaries of all the advice SHE has been given. On the one hand, I have wanted to put down wood laminate flooring throughout the entire downstairs forever. Dust mop and done. On the other hand, whatever I get will be going on ancient tile over concrete. The surface is not completely flat. So I should go with carpet. That's my mom's vote - a Berber with good pad under it. So what do I do in the kitchen then if that has to come up? I don't want carpet in the kitchen? So I go back with inlaid? They don't make me near as happy as the laminate does. And what about the stairs? If I put down new carpet downstairs, the old carpet on the stairs will look like shit - will that have to be replaced too, even if it wasn't water damaged? Or is that out of MY pocket too? And how long am I going to be in this house anyway? It's way too big for me now, and I truly want to downsize, so I don't want to invest a lot of $$ in a floor i won't be enjoying. So that means carpet. Or not. At times like these, it does NOT suit to be a Libra.

At least I know that I can take a shower tonight. If not at the bf's, then at Jessica's. That's something.

Splish Splash

I had a lucky day. Really I did.
I put two little rugs in my washing machine to wash this morning before I left for work. They were still going as I went out the door. Unknown to me, the water hose from the house to the washing machine burst. It started spewing water full force. Nobody home to watch the pretty waterfall.
LUCKY FOR ME my fella drove by my house about two hours later. He saw water pouring onto my carport and figured I'd left the garden hose on by accident. LUCKY FOR ME he came in and turned off the water. LUCKY FOR ME he called me at work and said, "You need to come home NOW!" LUCKY FOR ME I was able to leave work immediately and come home to manage damage control. LUCKY FOR ME my homeowners insurance is paid up. There was about four inches of water standing on my downstairs floors/carpet. Squish Squish Squish!

LUCKY FOR ME I called a company to come and get the water up. They were here in thirty minutes or so with shopvacs and dehumidifiers and big fans. They took up the carpet because they said it would never dry out (it's on tile-covered concrete).

Here's the new look for my den... LUCKY FOR ME I get new flooring downstairs.

I should play the lottery - it's my lucky day!