santa for some...

I love Jessica & Elisha. They are the absolute best on this planet. Adorable and funny and sweet - and they love me. So apparently they're super intelligent too! I don't know what I'd do without them. I really don't.

This is the present Elisha made at school for his mommy. It's a neat floor mat made with his very own footprints. He was so excited to give this to Jes - and she loves it!

And he got some "Hulk Hands" - they're like boxing gloves and they say stuff like, "Don't make me angry - you wouldn't like me when I'm angry." (I think I need some of these?)
With everything opened, Elisha started playing - here he's drawing SpongeBob.

And I dearly love my sister too. She checks in on me to make sure I'm doing okay - it's nice to feel so cared for.

So I've survived - no - I've ENJOYED christmas!

Now for the depressing part - feel free to stop here.

I do so miss my Anna. When I woke up this morning, I wondered what if I could do one of those TV things where you wake up and realize the past several years were just a dream (a la Dallas or Newhart). What if it was three years ago christmas morning? What if I could tiptoe downstairs to get things ready - for my two girls and little Elisha to come down and see what Santa had brought? What would I do differently in the seven days to come? Would could I do differently? What MUST I do differently? I wouldn't want to go back three years and relive that raw, agonizing pain again - or the enduring numbness in between the sad feelings. But if I could change it - if I could do whatever it is I should have done - if only I had my lovely Anna here today. To hear her laugh - to listen to her stories - what stories would there be today? with three years of life to hear?