dreams - I've been remembering a lot of my dreams lately. I haven't been sleeping all that well, waking up a lot which is why, I suppose. Today was my Duke appt - but I woke up at 3a.m. two days ago in a panic "I forgot to go to DUKE!!!!!" and it was probably a full minute before I got awake enough to tell myself to calm down. Also - my last trip to Duke was 22 years ago - I had to have an amniocentesis when I was pregnant with Anna. I guess my subconscious has been pulling that back up, because I've dreamed I was back in those days several times. Once I was back in the house we were living in back then, with that husband. In another one, I was in the car with that husband back then and we were driving. In neither dream did the man talk - at all. Which was normal (he's not a conversationalist) at the same time being a good thing - when he does talk to me, it drives me mad. And there's a snippet of a dream with Anna and Jessica running around the backyard like they did when they were little - it was a sunny day - that was a very warm dream-ette.
nanowrimo - November, the month of writing a novel, is upon us. I spent the month of October trying to come up with an idea. Characters. a plot. I thought about books I enjoy reading - a wide spectrum including fantasy, sci fi, stephen king's horror, neil gaiman, michael chabon. My favorites are extremely well-plotted, normal-guy-in-extraordinary-circumstances stories. I don't have a story. I don't have any extraordinary circumstances that I want to throw characters into. I like to read. No - more than that - I LOVE TO READ. I surrender my idea of being the next Stephanie King. I can devote my energies to the books I love without wishing I could come up with some idea. It's kinda like the way I can watch the cooking shows without thinking I should be Top Chef. I feel relieved.
travel thoughts - I've spent many hours on the road lately. We took a pre-Duke trip last Saturday to find out where we were going. Then we went down for the real thing today. At this stage in my life, I'm comfortable with silence. There was a time when I thought every minute had to be filled with talk, how are you FEELING?, what are youTHINKING? Now, I am perfectly happy with long periods of just road noises. I like being able to filter through all the random crap that flows through my brain. This bf likes to drive, so I get ride for a change - which is great. I have voyeuristic tendencies, because I love looking in lighted windows, seeing what's going on in other people's lives - wondering who they are, how they live. I have to go back to Duke for pre-admit stuff on Dec 3rd, and I'm looking forward to the ride.
thanksgiving - what's the plan? tacos, anyone?
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